Another fun day at the ODD house! Yesterday's Psych appt was routine - this was just to check height, weight, and see how the meds are working - or not working. For now things are status quo - no improvements, no declines. As Toodleumpkins will be going to a new school in the district next year we will soon be working on his accomodations so the Psych has set up a new round of testing to see what types of accomodations/help he may need.
I am kind of worried about transistioning from elementary to middle school as there will be no one there who is familiar with him and his special needs. His intellect is so high and his reasoning/communication skills are out of this world but his responsibility and maturity levels are way below his age. Therefore it is very hard for people to realize that his behavior is NOT totally controllable and appropriate for the situations. Basically, his behavior and reactions to things have not changed at all since he was around 4 years old. The silly things, running around, making wierd noises, not wanting to follow directions, are all the exact same as when he was 4. Its hard to live with and I know the schools have a lot of trouble understanding and dealing with this.
Right now he only has a "504" that addresses his need to be removed from the room for testing so that he is not distracted by others and so that he doesn't distract others. I really feel that he needs something to address his behavior - or rather his misbehavior - aggression and rage. Hopefully the psychologist and the testing will be able to help me get something in place.
Anyway, back to this morning. One of the boys uncles has come into town just for an overnight at Grandma's. His job is opening a new location in the area and he is in on a quick overnight visit. He wasn't in before the boys bedtime last night so they are very anxious and excited that they will see him this morning. Therefore, both boys who DO NOT want to get up on school mornings are both up and raring to go. Toodleumpkins is overexcited and Bumperkins is a little more hyper than usual. First we have to walk the dog - Toodleumpkins wants to go this morning and is running all over the place, making silly faces and over-the-top silly sounds. The dog almost cannot concentrate enough to take care of business!
Back from walking the dog, both boys are dressed and have what they need for the day. Still bouncing off the walls with anticipation of seeing their uncle. On the way over I remind both boys that they needed to calm down and be on their best behavior or I would bring the home and they wouldn't get to spend any time with their uncle. We get to grandmas and BOOM both boys are out of the car running to the house, pushing and shoving each other to be first. Thank goodness their uncle wasn't out yet! I got them semi-calmed down and they did bring it down a notch but I still had to continue to remind them to calm down. stop jumping and stop trying to be silly. They both crave being the center of attention and will do all kinds of inappropriate things as long as it brings attention to them and gets it away from their brother. MUCH MUCH worse than normal sybling rivalry!
Bumperkins rode the bus this morning but I took Toodleumpkins to school. I needed to talk about a few things with his teacher and others in charge. Yesterday Toodleumpkins brought his gym bag that is used to take books from class to class as they are not allowed to take bookbags out of homeroom. He tells me that his teacher made him bring it home because it was too big, yet this is the one he insisted on having, telling me it was the one everyone else had. When I bring this to his attention he tells me that they must have changed the rules. This, BTW, is one of his stock responses when he has an inconsistency. I tell him that I will be going to school to find out what size is acceptable. He does not seem concerned that I will do this. Then I find that he has 3 books from the school library!
After he lost 3 books that would have cost me approx $100 I forbid him from checking out any more books from the school library. The books were later found but the restriction is still in place. I advised his teachers and the librarian of this yet a few weeks after I advised them of this the Vice-Principle had him check some books out - and one of them he got was self-defense for girls! Lord have mercy! LOL! He is at that age where he is very interested in the opposite sex but this book was inappropriate for a young boy to chose. I went in and spoke with the VP and told her that he wasn't allowed to check out books and why. So now he has once again checked out more books. What am I going to have to do to stop this? Auugh! This time he had finished his classwork and an aide had told him to get something to read. As he has already read the books avail in that particular classroom he takes his little hiney down to the library and they allow him to check out books. This is getting a bit ridiculous.
So we get to school and I talk to his teacher. Guess what? She did NOT tell him the bag was too big, she told him that as he is not using it he needs to take it home. BUSTED AGAIN! I don't know why he keeps thinking he will get away with telling these stories! LOL! The look on his face was priceless - such the little actor. It was a "What? That's not what I THOUGHT you said" face. So funny. If I hadn't seen it soo many times before I would be tempted to believe that he really was confused. Next I go to see who in the office is available to discuss the book issue. The first person I run into is the school counselor. I let her know what is going on and she promises to take care of it. I remind her that if he is continued to be allowed to check out books that I will not pay for any that get lost. She totally understands and agrees.
Then she looks at me and says "I thought maybe your were here for something else" and gives a little guilty type grin. Seems that yesterday Toodleumpkins was feeling his oats a bit and being disruptive and not following classroom instructions and so was sent to her office twice in the morning. On the second instance she told him that if he didn't get himself together that, although he would get a grade for doing it she would make sure that his Science Project was not tested and evaluated and thus would not be eligible for any ribbons. She said his face went totally white and he asked "can you really do that?" When she assured him that she could, and would, he went back to class and behaved much, much better for the rest of the day until I picked him up at 1:30. She thought I may have been upset at her for that. I told her that I had not heard anything about it but that she should know me well enough by now to know that I would applaud that decision, not be upset about it. Whatever it takes to get him to focus and behave! Oh I wish I could have seen that face! LOL!
I don't want my children to be perfect...that would be an impossibility and I don't think I could live with a perfect child, how boring! I also don't want them to always behave - making mistakes is how we learn. At least that is the theory - Toodleumpkins just sees mistakes as a reason to try and find another way to do the same thing. This could be a good thing, but for now just results in more problems. What I do want is for my children to be the best that they can be and to learn to function, fit in with, and be a productive member of society.
This roller coaster we are on now is full of fun, surprises, dips and at times tragedies. Stick around and join us for the ride!
Friday, January 21, 2011
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Thursday January 20, 2011
In order to protect my children's privacy I will not refer to them by name. My oldest will be known (on here at least) as Toodleumpkins and the youngest as Bumperkins.
I don't know if anyone will ever read this but I decided I needed an outlet and a sanity keeper and maybe writing down the events of my days will help me to get it out and get over it. So this is the beginning of my soap opera saga ODD mom!
Today began as most of our days do. I'm up at 5:30, dressed for work, take our dog Luna (an adorable 1 yr old Cavalier King Charles Spaniel) for her morning constitutional, back home to TRY to get the boys up for school. When I finally go and pull the covers off they reluctantly get up and grudgingly get dressed for school.
Their school requires a "uniform" that is really just a rigid dress code. Choice of black, blue, or khaki color pants in a dockers style, no more than 4 pockets, brown or black belt, blue, black, gold, or white polo type shirt that must be tucked in, white, black, or brown socks, and black shoes. And none can have any type of logo, picture, or brand marking that can be seen. Very, very stupid. I am told that this was adopted for a variety of reasons which include: 1) With all the children dressed alike it is easy to see if someone who doesn't belong is there - my answer to that is Huh? The code is so liberal and anyone could go to the local Wally World and for less than $20 bucks attire themselves to fit right in. 2) This way there is less competition of who has better clothing - once again, Huh? There are still kids who have the $100 dollar shoes and department store clothes vs the kids with the $5 Shoe Shoe shoes and Maxway clothes. 3) The kids behave better when everyone looks the same - again, Huh? Not that I have seen - there is still bullying misbehavior all over the place. I prefer a uniform that is actually a uniform or free choice with "proper attire" type code. But then I don't get to make the rules on this!
Once dressed the first of the days many drama's occurs. I am at work by 7 am (30 mins away) so we go next door to my moms every school day for breakfast and the kids to catch the bus. Neither child has been behaving or, in one childs case, doing their school work as required so the "no toys at grandma's" rule is being enforced. Regardless, every single day their is a meltdown because they are reminded of the rule or try to smuggle something and it is caught. Today both of them tried it. Toodleumpkins has been caught almost every day with some toy or another and today it was a mini tabletop hockey set. Bumperkins had a mighty bean. Toodleumpkins was trying to hide his, Bumperkins had his out in the open. Toodleumpkins had a meltdown crying, screaming, fit when I took his away and threw it in the trash - as he was told would happen the next time he ignored the rule. Bumperkins was not thrown away as he is not a habitual offender - his was just taken away for a week. Which is kinda sad as he just got it back this morning! Oh, BTW, did I mention that Toodleumpkins toy had been taken away earlier this week for the same thing and he went into my room, without permission, and sneaked it out this morning?
Today they did not have to ride the bus, I took a few hours off work in order to take them, and their Science Projects, to school. Their Science Projects....that was fun...do you hear the sarcasm in my voice on that one? I did not think they would be ready on time and I refused to do the work for them. Well, I will be honest. I did help Bumperkins as this is the first year he had to do one. But my help was only in showing him how to do it and answering questions - he still had to do the experiment, notes, research, typing, and assembling on his own. Once Toodleumpins realized that I would not step in and do his for him he finally began top pull it together. It is not well done, but it is done. And their were only about 10 screaming fits during the process.
I will be taking Toodleumpkins to his Psych appt this afternoon. His Psych is 1.5 hours away. I live in a very small rural town and although we do have Psychs here none of them feel qualified to help him. I feel fortunate that I only have to drive 3 hrs round trip because the next area that has a Psych qualifed to work with him would be a 4 hour round trip! This appt is just for med maintenance, the psychologist appt is next Tues. Hopefully when I go to the school to pick him up he will actually be in class and not in the SBMR room or the Vice Principles office as is so often the case.
It's only noon and I feel like I've already run a marathon this morning. But my days always have 3 constants - there will be a rage/screaming episode in the morning, another after school, and at least one more before bed. I am still researching, looking, and trying everything I can to try to help this child. He can have such a loving, helpful personality - I just wish it had more opportunities to shine.
I don't know if anyone will ever read this but I decided I needed an outlet and a sanity keeper and maybe writing down the events of my days will help me to get it out and get over it. So this is the beginning of my soap opera saga ODD mom!
Today began as most of our days do. I'm up at 5:30, dressed for work, take our dog Luna (an adorable 1 yr old Cavalier King Charles Spaniel) for her morning constitutional, back home to TRY to get the boys up for school. When I finally go and pull the covers off they reluctantly get up and grudgingly get dressed for school.
Their school requires a "uniform" that is really just a rigid dress code. Choice of black, blue, or khaki color pants in a dockers style, no more than 4 pockets, brown or black belt, blue, black, gold, or white polo type shirt that must be tucked in, white, black, or brown socks, and black shoes. And none can have any type of logo, picture, or brand marking that can be seen. Very, very stupid. I am told that this was adopted for a variety of reasons which include: 1) With all the children dressed alike it is easy to see if someone who doesn't belong is there - my answer to that is Huh? The code is so liberal and anyone could go to the local Wally World and for less than $20 bucks attire themselves to fit right in. 2) This way there is less competition of who has better clothing - once again, Huh? There are still kids who have the $100 dollar shoes and department store clothes vs the kids with the $5 Shoe Shoe shoes and Maxway clothes. 3) The kids behave better when everyone looks the same - again, Huh? Not that I have seen - there is still bullying misbehavior all over the place. I prefer a uniform that is actually a uniform or free choice with "proper attire" type code. But then I don't get to make the rules on this!
Once dressed the first of the days many drama's occurs. I am at work by 7 am (30 mins away) so we go next door to my moms every school day for breakfast and the kids to catch the bus. Neither child has been behaving or, in one childs case, doing their school work as required so the "no toys at grandma's" rule is being enforced. Regardless, every single day their is a meltdown because they are reminded of the rule or try to smuggle something and it is caught. Today both of them tried it. Toodleumpkins has been caught almost every day with some toy or another and today it was a mini tabletop hockey set. Bumperkins had a mighty bean. Toodleumpkins was trying to hide his, Bumperkins had his out in the open. Toodleumpkins had a meltdown crying, screaming, fit when I took his away and threw it in the trash - as he was told would happen the next time he ignored the rule. Bumperkins was not thrown away as he is not a habitual offender - his was just taken away for a week. Which is kinda sad as he just got it back this morning! Oh, BTW, did I mention that Toodleumpkins toy had been taken away earlier this week for the same thing and he went into my room, without permission, and sneaked it out this morning?
Today they did not have to ride the bus, I took a few hours off work in order to take them, and their Science Projects, to school. Their Science Projects....that was fun...do you hear the sarcasm in my voice on that one? I did not think they would be ready on time and I refused to do the work for them. Well, I will be honest. I did help Bumperkins as this is the first year he had to do one. But my help was only in showing him how to do it and answering questions - he still had to do the experiment, notes, research, typing, and assembling on his own. Once Toodleumpins realized that I would not step in and do his for him he finally began top pull it together. It is not well done, but it is done. And their were only about 10 screaming fits during the process.
I will be taking Toodleumpkins to his Psych appt this afternoon. His Psych is 1.5 hours away. I live in a very small rural town and although we do have Psychs here none of them feel qualified to help him. I feel fortunate that I only have to drive 3 hrs round trip because the next area that has a Psych qualifed to work with him would be a 4 hour round trip! This appt is just for med maintenance, the psychologist appt is next Tues. Hopefully when I go to the school to pick him up he will actually be in class and not in the SBMR room or the Vice Principles office as is so often the case.
It's only noon and I feel like I've already run a marathon this morning. But my days always have 3 constants - there will be a rage/screaming episode in the morning, another after school, and at least one more before bed. I am still researching, looking, and trying everything I can to try to help this child. He can have such a loving, helpful personality - I just wish it had more opportunities to shine.
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